How to handle rejections with grace

Rejection is hard. Period. It doesn’t matter whether it’s for personal or professional circumstances, or for young or old. It is just hard. The good news is, it does get easier through practice and if you’ll let yourself.

What I noticed early in my career is that men seem to be handling rejections better than women. Sure, maybe they’re wired to be a little less emotional than women, but is that all there is? Then, my husband reminded me, it all came through practice. Men got rejected countless times from early on when they pursued the girls they like. They accumulated a wealth of experience of being rejected and moving on. They learned to live with rejections almost as a survival skill, except it is much more than just that. Rejection teaches resilience, which is an essential life skill.

When I reflect on some critical points in my life, rejections were always there. My ex broke up with me out of nowhere, and that became my primary driving force to study hard and get my MBA. All the countless rejections I got from recruiters and hiring managers, led me to find my passion and my own voice.

Although still difficult, these are the pointers I would remind myself when rejection happens:

1. Think big picture: Rejection is life’s way of saying that this path is not for you. It’s a way of guiding you to where you need to be at that particular point in your life. Now, this doesn’t mean you should go out and take risks at everything just to ‘figure things out’. Life is too short and getting over rejections takes time and energy. Take thoughtful approach to risks and then to reflect on what life’s trying to tell you when rejection happens.
   

2. Don’t take it personally: Every single person on this planet has gone through rejections. Most rejections happen due to circumstances or ‘fit’. Yes, there are techniques you could learn from the rejection process to get better, but know that you are not a ‘failure’. Keep your head up high. You’re on your perfectly beautiful path to find yourself.
   

3. Be extra kind to yourself: Give yourself enough time you need to get energy together and bounce back. The more invested and the more sure you felt about what you pursued, the longer it may take to recover. A friend once told me it takes twice the time your were together with your ex to completely get over him/her. When rejection stings you, go do what energizes you or meet people you love hanging out with. Rest up and move on to the next adventure!

Speaking of which.. I may have just got a rejection email. Well, clearly, time to move on. Before that, I may get an ice cream bar from the fridge to be extra kind to myself today.

What works for you to get over rejections?

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