Two years on my own

Imagine you’re in a big, reputable ship cruising across the vast ocean. Everything seems sturdy and everyone seems to get along fine. The captain aims to get to certain places, and the crew gets it done as a team. You feel that you’re making a difference in this big ship. You cruise along until you realize the ship is not the same place it used to be. You can’t help but wonder, “what if I get off this ship and maybe sail in my own little boat?”. 

The big ship provides stability and steady self-growth opportunities. However, you may have less control of your time and the kind of works you get to do. Your own little boat will allow for flexibility and exploration for works that you truly enjoy. On the other hand, things will be less stable and income will be significantly lower, at least in the beginning. With nervousness and excitement, you say good bye to the people in the ship. In this little boat, you relearn everything about ocean and yourself. The ocean feels chirpier and air crispier. Now, you’re in full charge of this little boat. Time to reset. Time to sail on a new adventure. 

This is how I felt when I left my fifteen years of corporate life two years ago. I didn’t know what I was going to do. The only thing that I knew for certain was that I wanted my life to be in balance again. Looking back, I’m truly grateful I made the decision at that time in my life. I found not only balance, but also deep joy and inner peace. If you’re ever contemplating carving your own path outside of corporate life, I want to share three key insights from being on my own that may help you decide. 

1. Health and family bring the most joy in life. Money, status or any other material form of success doesn’t even come close. Memories you make with your closest people in either big ship or little boat are what makes life so much richer and meaningful. Too many of us spend too much time working, leaving very little time for health or family. According to the Fast Company article, 1,914 CEOs left their posts in 2023, and 19 of those died on the job. What use is success when you don’t have health or closest people to share with? If any part of your body is showing signals to slow down, give it the utmost attention immediately. If misunderstandings are piling up with your significant other, don’t let them simmer. Prioritize health and family, over success. Then, to your surprise, success will soon follow. 
   

2. Community is what you build of it. As humans, we yearn to belong somewhere with people of shared values or interests. Companies naturally provide that sense of belonging through a common mission. Once you’re out of a company, that’s when you realize that a community is not just given to you. Whether you’re in a big ship or small boat, community really is what you build of it. It is meeting other people sailing (often small boats too). After resigning, I invested much time building a wonderful community around my kids’ school. I wanted this community to be as fun, caring, authentic, and supportive as it can be for both the kids and the families. It was already a great community when I first joined, thanks to the families who built such amazing space before us. It will only stay that way if we continue to stay involved and mold it the way we want. No one else will do that job for us. If you found a community you care, then be part of the building to turn this into exactly the kind of place you dream it to be. 
   

3. Tofu takes time. This is the name of a book that we recently got for our son. This tells the story of a girl who learns to make tofu from her grandma. Watching her grandma, she realizes that tofu takes much effort and patience. When you first get out of the big ship, you suddenly realize how much you’ll need to be mentally and physically stronger to thrive. Everything resets. You’ll quickly learn what new skills you’ll need to acquire. Being on my own, I’ve set new professional goals. I sometimes felt disheartened when I realized the big gap that exists between where I am and where I want to go. I then remind myself how everything in life takes time. I tell myself to be patient and that things will be all right. What’s most important is that you’re making progress and that you’re getting closer to the goal. It will always be one step at a time. 
   

This little boat of mine has taken me to a few unexpected places. I explored these new places with curiosity and open mind. Now, I have a clearer sense of direction, where I want to go, and what’s needed to get there. Most importantly, I feel confident that I can cross the ocean in my own little boat. It will take time and I’m ready to take on this challenge with grit. What about you? 

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